virtual disorder

tomorrow i'll be back in lux. oh, i wont, i will start going tomorrow but get there on sunday. that's it. i don't even want to think about the cold, and having to wear warm clothes again. a few days ago i had to put on my jacket because it was cold in the restaurant, and i felt like i was being strangled. but before i get to go back to the cold i have a 12 hour flight, i even feel sick thinking about it, these things are so tiring. after that we might stay in frankfurt for a while to sleep before we start driving back, depending on how sleepy we are. i actually have the train tickets back to lux, so i wouldn't have to stay in frankfurt. i'll see about that when i get there.

about my holiday. it's been relaxing, but also tiring (a certain family member has taken care of that). i have been pretty useless, no, not the farmville kind of useless, but just sunbathing, reading books, swimming in the ocean and the pool (we have one just behind our hacienda (a house with 10 hotel rooms), but apparently the others in our hacienda aren't really interested in it), i snorkeled, saw the chichen-itza, shopped and that's basically it.

i have eaten a lot, so i am already afraid about stepping on that weight, even thought i can't tell by looking at my body that i have put on weight. i sound like i am brainwashed, talking abut my weight. i can't really tell how much more tanned i am either, to me it doesn't look so much, but if i compare the parts that have been covered during tanning and the tanned parts, then there is a huge difference. yeah, brainwashed.

we are gonna be swimming in gym. actually i am looking forward to that. notice, i am not saying i am going to enjoy it, but for some reason i am looking forward to it.

for the past few days compos have been popping up on my mind. i am a little scared about getting them back. i will probably look at some stuff and wonder how come i managed to make so stupid mistakes, i am hoping those mistakes aren't too big.

i think i write too much, but a part of me thinks that somebody would be interested.

well, anyways, i miss some people, and my home. on holidays (especially the summer ones), i start to miss the routine, there is something safe about that. probably always knowing what will come next, and the feeling of control. no, what am i talking about, i don't even control my life.

i am sort of looking forward to this year. my horoscope was good, it promised me something (it's not a thing really, nor a person) i really want. also this was the first (in at least 5 years) new year's eve that i didn't take part in. as i said, i go to sleep here at 9 or 10, so i just slept.

i am gonna stop wasting my last day here and go for a walk on the beach now.